Jan 24th, 2012
Someone told me one time, “I don’t want to celebrate my birthday anymore, because it’s just a reminder that I am 1 day closer to dying.”
Well, true true. I think it was my grandfather who said that, but I am not sure. Anyway, happy birthday me. I didn’t think I’d see 36, but here I am.
For my birthday this year, I did something a little different. I removed my birthday from Facebook, just to see who really remembers that it is my birthday. Did I do it to be a prick? Nah, I was just truly seeing who would remember without the ” It’s so-and-so’s birthday today” reminder from all the social media buzz/apps/websites that have seemed to pop up lately. There was a few that surprised me, especially Nicole. But all in all, the ones that remembered are the ones that really matter most.
So, what did I get for my birthday? Well, I did things a little different. Instead of me going out and buying that 1 selfish item that I normally do (because it’s “MY” birthday), I took a different approach to my normal selfish logic this year. I purchased a board game.
Yup, a damn board game. Say it with me, “Board Game….” There ya go, easy right?
I got “The Legend of Drizzt” board game from Dungeons and Dragons.
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/product.aspx?x=dnd/products/dndacc/355940000
And let me just tell you, the boys love it. Love it, Love it, Love it. Since getting it, there is not a single day that they don’t ask to play it with me, which is absolutely fantastic! I’d rather me and them sit down and play a game TOGETHER than spend time on the computer or their faces planted in a Nintendo DS.
It brings us together. (Literally, we have a small kitchen) And we talk, and talk. We talk about the game and what’s going on, then we talk about them and their day and the conversation just goes on and on. It is nice to just sit down with them, and actually listen to them and what they have to say. Sadly, most parents today don’t spend a lot of time with their kids. Granted some can’t do it because of jobs/work schedules, but regardless…1 day a week, spend time with just them and actually listen. I am glad I do.
Now how could this possibly help me with PTSD, and why do I have this blog in that category? Well, there are 2 reasons actually and they are pretty big stressors of my ongoing struggle with PTSD.
1. Control. Since I got back from the war, I have struggled with this the most. I feel if I am not in control, then something WILL go wrong. I know that might sound retarded to you, but in my world: Control is Life. So how does this relate to a board game with my kids? I let them “Control” their characters actions , and I sit back and watch and grab their reasoning behind what they are doing and seeing how they handle situations. You might think, “How freakin’ lame is that!” Well, to me, it’s a lot. And it’s a baby step in my book. Baby step, yes. But it’s a step nonetheless.
2. Fun. It’s been a long time, long time…. since me and the boys had FUN together. My struggles hinder so much around me and ultimately spills out to my family. So, Daddy does not want to go along when they go bowling or snow tubing. Why? Because I want them to have fun. And I know that if I go, even to these things, that they will not have fun and it will ruin the whole trip. Yes, I am that bad in public places, but it’s worse when I have the little ones and in public places. Anxiety, Panic, Shaking. Not good and definitely not fun. But what this board game situation has helped me do, is create a fun and safe environment for me and my kids to enjoy each other’s company. Now that may sound rather trivial to you, but to me … it’s everything. And I hope that this is the “baby step” that helps me to keep putting my feet forward. Not just for my sake, but for my family as well.
Yup, that’s gonna be it in this little rant of mine.
Till next time,
~syrric
syrric
